I recently saw an article that listed unequivocally the types of guys to avoid dating. While that may make for a quick read on break, a cute way to grab the attention of readers, is the act of negating entire categories of people from your dating pool really a good idea, a strategy that makes sense or even a nice thing to do? Let’s review some of these supposed losers…
Living at Home
There are a million reasons why a son or daughter would still reside with extended family–and not anywhere near all of them are negative. Some provide care for elderly family members or live in conditions that make childcare easier and readily available. Some have suffered from the effects of economic downturn, but others are savvy and saving money by sharing space.
Living at home or living with parents should not be a deal breaker. We have roommates, why not parent roommates? Family relationships differ. Not all of us had to rebel and escape. If you can trust your mom to help cover rent and not steal your food, you’re already ahead in the roommate game. People live together for safety, for security and out of love. How can you fault them for that?
It is easy to find dates who are perennially distracted by technology. Most people are. Still, some of the distractions are more obnoxious and hard to live with than others. If you find that, for either of you, checking email or answering calls is taking the focus away from your together time, agree to turn off the devices or place limits on interruptions. Indulge together and then both of you put down the phone and slowly, back away.
There’s no reason to be snotty about a guy who knows fashion and is willing to share his opinion. If he understands the importance of a Choo shoe, he’ll be more likely to understand your need to get to that sale or the lure of window shopping.
It’s one thing if he’s judgmental, another if he is simply informed. Use your tools. You’ll be better turned out for it and he’ll have something to contribute. Win-win.
Jocks, Athletes and the Image Conscious
We shouldn’t group people into narrow categories simply because they seem to fit a stereotype. Bodybuilders aren’t dumb; muscle doesn’t equal muscleheaded. A woman who cares about how she looks isn’t necessarily vain. Some people may act or dress a certain way due to lack of exposure to anything different, a reluctance to change or in order to fit in where they spend the majority of their time.
Maybe you can help them break out of their rut. Then again, maybe they don’t bother worrying about what their choice in shoes or handbags say to the world. Who does that make more backward—-them for failure to care or you for caring so much about something that frivolous?
And if you find yourself being picked over or micromanaged by someone who believes that one small aspect of your life or wardrobe should render you undatable, thank them and walk away. You don’t need that kind of narrow-minded focus in your life. Be who you are. Celebrate your individuality.
A Last Word…
True, stereotypes may come from common experience and shared characteristics exist–and maybe buried in them is a small grain of truth–but you have to take each individual as they come. You may have to dig a little to find it, but people are all unique.
If you spend all your time making cutting remarks and wittily finding fault, prepare to enjoy your own company. The rest of us will be out here dating and experiencing life. It isn’t always stylish or perfectly groomed, but it is varied and beautiful, and I for one am thankful.
Five Types of Guys to Avoid at All Costs
Oct 8, 2009
Photo by jumblejet @ http://www.everystockphoto.com/photo.php?imageId=3881761