well, we finally got that trip to the hospital. as soon as i returned to bed i dreamed that practically everyone i know was at the hospital. the kids i work with were camping there, tennjed was there, my mom was giving some blood for something. i was near the admin desk with greg and he was chatting/joking with the ppl behind it. women patients and the admin women kept vying for his attention to slip him a note or ask if he’d be sitting with them later. finally he was ready to stop shmoozing so i could go (weird stuff was happening with naked mannequins and stuff i was trying to sort of ignore). he’d said earlier that this particular employee, liason with our business, wanted to offer me a job. she’d be leaving soon and they needed someone who was familiar with our facility. i wasn’t interested. i did see the woman and knew it was the one with long blonde hair. she stopped us again as we were leaving with some sort of question. i was worried the whole time that i was really working and this one kid being seen for a medical issue had no escort (they’re never to be left alone).
well, while i was waiting in this little lobby anteroom for him to come on again already, i saw rainbows everywhere. a hackysack with rainbow colors hanging on the wall, other rainbow colors and decor. and for a second i remembered- you’re a rainbow warrior! drop down into your stance…but then it was gone. i helped a guy who worked with these women with some papers he dropped and he liked that i stood next to him, staying to help. i lost greg at this point, i think. there was a subtext to some of the exchanges with the women behind the desk that i wouldn’t understand until after i woke. something was to happen later.
we walked down a corridor (i don’t know who was with me then) and found my mom giving blood. there were several ppl on low chairs and tables with tubes going out to small cylinders on a stand a couple of feet away. a nurse stalked the aisles telling them to pray into the cylinders and that would get them done faster. i found that odd, but could see how it would work, but it also felt vaguely sinister. my mom wouldn’t do hers right and i wondered about her being roman catholic and what she’d see in her bottle (she isn’t, but for a long time i thought she was catholic).
from there i tried to leave and things get messy in my memory, so i can only tell you bits and pieces. i was in the company of three ppl- the man, the blonde, and the middle aged woman who passed greg the note. only they weren’t ppl, exactly. when they’d reveal their true selves, which they did because they couldn’t make me do as they wanted, their eyes were all black, glassy. real neat. i wasn’t scared in the least. they’d also change form sometimes and tended to be in all black. again, something i liked. not scary. this upset them. heh.
i guess things really started to get weird when they were escorting me around this odd little “town” and i kept remembering do the stance, do the stance. the first one they interrupted right away, kind of pulled me backward and diverted my attention. i’d only barely begun to see rainbows in my peripheral vision. then i saw these buildings and none of them had signs to tell what the businesses were. huh. remember that, i thought, an interesting detail- and suddenly the one i was looking at (painted all deep blue and cloudy) had a sign. i tried to read the letters and they kept spinning and morphing and changing. i guess my wanting to read it was making them choose certain forms because it began to look like it said human somethings. and the guy got PISSED and jerked me away again. as he pulled at me i remembered ooh! stance! and tried to get into holding the tree again but didn’t make it long. he was really dragging me down the sidewalk.
then i looked up into the sky and i saw the most AMAZING thing up there. it looked at first like something i used to draw in school. random wavy lines that cross and recross each other to form a big shapeshifting blob with occasional decorations in some of the cells. this one was black and white with bubbles and some stuff drawn in and then it was not that anymore, it became a ginormous pale blue jellyfish thing. same shape and moving now, twisting its body all around itself, in and out and fantastic movments and i was enthralled and awestruck. something in that made me remember again, the stance, and i dropped into a full and strong holding the tree. i looked between my hands and kept focusing my attention in the intermediate space between, focusing, refocusing, letting go with my mind. breathing. that was also important this time. i began to think i should see rainbows jump between my fingers, tho i could only get a tinge of color around my fingers on either side. i was trying to connect them up when the man, enraged, threw off his human covering and showed me his black eyes and let me know this displeased him to no end. i laughed. all dream long he and the women (tho i can’t recall the details now that i’m awake) had been trying to get me to do as they wanted and i simply wouldn’t. they couldn’t make me. i was STRONGER. i couldn’t get away, exactly, but i wasn’t trying either. eventually i’d get sick enough of whatever it was and shake them off or pull something like a stance and they’d lose it.
he kissed me in this frustrated way and i didn’t care much one way or the other. i found the emotional tension of the moment interesting, not the kiss. he railed at me how i’d ruined the one woman’s life- the middle aged one. she’d lost her children or something, got thrown into another dimension. eh. i kind of half smiled and shrugged. so? she came flying back at me from thin air, all black eyes and no shape really, just a long wormy column of movement with her head on it. but she had no effect on me. the man had thrown me down onto the pavement of the street and was screaming at me. i guess i’d wronged the blonde too, but i don’t know what i did. the guy grew these long, sharp raven’s beak-like talons and was menacing me with them. he took a forefinger and stuck it into the big vein in my inner thigh. i stopped listening to him at that point. a voice in my head was telling me to wake up. i thought, ok, i know i should wake up in the dream and gain more power, but if i keep repeating wake up i’ll really wake up and i’ll be out of the dream and i didn’t want that. so i tried to get my mind fixed on it right. the guy got enraged and threw me by the back of the neck. i woke myself up moaning a little and talking to myself. i guess they ran me out of town : ) it sure was fun. i felt POWERFUL. there wasn’t anything they could do to stop me or scare me.
i must note an odd thing before i fell asleep to this dream. i was seeing a lot of weird, colorful, fleeting images while i was still fully awake but in bed. a virgin mary, a long stretchy hundred dollar bill, i can’t remember what else.